It's true what they say...

...Once you've had cancer, you think every little twinge or ache is cancer coming back all over again. This may be true for other major diseases too but my experience is cancer.

Last Monday I had a PET scan. These are always a source of stress for me, as I've had more of them than I can count and am just sick of the needle poke, the feel/taste of the contrast, the time out of my day... I'm just sick of them. This one in particular was causing me stress as I had had bronchitis the week before and it wasn't clearing up as I would have liked (it's still not entirely cleared up). Infections like bronchitis can cause the scans to 'glow' as they would if they showed cancer. I didn't want this to happen for two reasons: first, I didn't know how our new insurance would cover the scans (still don't), and didn't want to have to pay for two, and second, a false positive would have added to my stress about whether there could have been cancer there to light up along with the infection.

So there was a fair amount of tension coming into this scan. With that tension there already, it was easy to let my mind wander to what would happen if the scans came back with the worst sort of news. We're standing on fairly shaky ground already with hubby working contract work right now and our future fairly uncertain. It's easy to let my thoughts run away with me. And with all that tension, every ache I had over the last week, every emotion that was stronger than usual, was certain in my head that my health was less than stellar. I've had to work hard to give my worries to God and remember that he's in charge of everything, and he's never, ever let us down so far.

Today I received a call from the oncologist that my scans were in fact clear. I can't even say how much of a burden was lifted there. I actually cheered out loud. I can go into my appointment next week knowing already that she'll give me good news and I can breathe easy. At least until I'm waiting for the results from my next scan. ;-)