...one of the most difficult things I try to do.
It started with getting fit. I lost 20 pounds last year by finally paying attention to what I ate and actually exercising once in a while (actually 3 times a week). Right now I'm looking more at my attitudes, and realizing that not only did my eating need more discipline, but my attitude does too. I have a volatile temper, and while I don't deny it's a learned action, now that I am an adult it is all on me to change my reactions to my life.
Wanting to get myself and my tongue under control has led to other improvements that I'd love to see popping out all over the place. I want to get up before my kids and get in some exercise and bible reading, and write out my to-do list for the day. I want to take better care of my house, keeping it cleaner and making sure it is that way before my husband is home. I want to be in better shape, controlling my tummy a bit and speeding up my 5K time. Next summer I'd like to do a sprint triathlon. I want to read my bible more, to 'pray without ceasing.' I want to make more of our meals from scratch, even my own loaf breads.
Maybe it's too much. Probably it's too much. I do this when I set out on something big a lot.
"Okay, self, we're going to clean the living room. Well, I just need to put this thing away in the bathroom, oh, the mirror needs to be windexed. And this belongs in the bedroom, oh the closet hasn't been organized in a while..." And before I know it the entire upstairs is cleaned and I don't know what happened (not that it's bad that it's clean, just an example of how I always turn a little idea into a huge project). Then the next day I'm so exhausted from all that I don't want to even get up off the couch. And then it's 3 weeks before such a blitz happens again.
I'm trying to do too much. Add to that the fact that my nature would much rather be the person who sits on the couch and lets the kids watch TV all day. My self does and does not want to improve. I'd love to be better, to be more of an example of Christ to my children. I want them to look at me, and me saying I have a relationship with God, and have that make them want to have a relationship with him too. I want them to have an example of self-control...of my temper and my time management and my care of my body. I just need to focus on one aspect of it at a time. And I'm not very good at focusing like that, naturally.
Tomorrow my one goal is to get up with my alarm. Not early; I was trying for 5:30. Tomorrow we're going for something more reasonable, 6:15. I'd love to see 5:30 on a regular basis someday, but tomorrow I'm going to slow back down and take baby steps.
