My Dear Husband,

Thank you.

Thank you for kissing and cuddling me goodbye every morning so I fall in love with you all over again. 

Thank you for inspiring me to take care of our home and children.

Thank you for understanding me on days when the going's been tough.

Thank you for loving me, my highs, my lows.

Thank you for loving our children in their highs and being patient in their lows.

Thank you for putting up with my spontaneity even when it creates more work for you.

Thank you for working your hardest for us every day, for putting your loved ones first and demonstrating sacrifice to us.

Thank you for being the spiritual leader for our family.

Thank you for, in eight short years of marriage, already sticking with me for better or worse, in sickness and health, in richer and poorer times. 

Thank you for being you. I can't believe I'm so blessed as to get to be married to you. I love you.

A gentle nudge

I've been letting a couple things slip. Between the four people I make lunches for, having one home part time yet, wanting to get the girls out the door with real food in their bellies, keeping the house clean, one girl bringing home a fund raiser already (and it's due this week!) and three more coming home soon, one kid already having her pictures taken and the other two next week, finishing training for our 1/2 marathon in a week and a half, learning and planning new stuff for fireflies, and trying to figure out when I'll volunteer in the girls' classrooms... Some of my soft skills are slipping.

Tonight I wanted to get dinner on the table by 5, as that was when Hubby was getting home and he had to turn around and leave again for a meeting. A noble enough goal, no doubt about that. The problem was that I've let my to-do list stress me out and I was C-R-A-B-B-Y.

So he may have gotten his dinner, but it wasn't terribly enjoyable.

This is the kind of thing I've let slip (again- but that's not {totally} my point). I'm impatient with the kids and grumpy around my husband.

I need to work on this. As often happens lately, a blog I follow sent out an entry that spoke directly to me. It started out with this verse:

"A continual dripping on a very rainy day

And a contentious woman are alike."

Proverbs 27:15

Ouch. That one hit a nerve. The blog writer continues: 

"In the same way that a leaky faucet can cause permanent damage,

our words if left unchecked can damage our relationships and cause resentment to grow."

Then she goes on to make some suggestions. I do have a passion to read advice for my marriage and I was thrilled to get this email, though it did strike that nerve hard. This list is good. 

1. Listen to what he has to say so that you will recognize what's on his heart.

2. Make an effort to be as cheerful as you were when you were engaged to be married. {Oy.}

3. Ignore his faults and focus on his strong points by taking note of them.

4. Compliment him for the way he looks and the good things he does like working hard for the family.

5. See him for who he is, not who you want him to be.

6. Be slow to anger. Relay your frustration with love, respect, and a cool head. 

I have let this slip. My to-do list should not be more important to me than the hearts and souls of those I love. 

So, here I go. I'm going to do #3 right now. Here are some of my Hubby's strong points. 

1. He loves me more that I think I even know. This man would do anything for me and he makes that clear to me. 

2. He is wonderfully good looking.

3. He loves his daughters fiercely and is willing to be silly with them.

4. He works ~so~ very hard to bring home a paycheck for us.

5. He actually finds me funny, thank goodness.
6. He is funny! And at ease around people.
7. He is creative. Right now he is deeply involved in finding a job to fit his creative passions and I'm praying he finds it.

I love my husband so. I'm working on making that clear more and more often. My children are included in this too! I'm hoping working on this attitude will flow into all areas of my life. Firstly with my husband, then onto my kids and everyone I meet. 

"How does that feel?"

"Weird, I tell ya, just weird."

That's a question and answer I've taken part in no less than 10 times over the last week. I've been a stay at home mom for over 6 1/2 years (holy cow! I'd forgotten how long it's been!) and I'm rarely seen without at least one tag-along. So as I've been running errands this week, (of course) on the days when I have no one to take with me, I've gotten that question a lot. "What's that like?" "How's that going?"

My answer of, "it's weird" is really the only answer I have right now. I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure, still, what I'll be doing with all my free time. I went shopping both days this week, for groceries and upcoming birthdays, but I obviously can't do that all the time. I've got an idea for an etsy shop rolling around in my head. I babysit. And really, I have C home 1/2 time still and all three of them on holidays, so working would be tough as daycare is expensive and so on and so forth. So I'm a week in and it's still weird. I have not yet found my new groove.

I believe motherhood is a high calling and up until now have had no qualms about staying at home. I had kids all day, every day, plenty to do keeping the house manageable, and all our activities to manage and get us all to. Recent events, however, have me questioning whether it's worth it for me to stay home. Should I be contributing in some way? Now, I don't have the kids home full time. Will everything else and going to volunteer at their schools keep me busy? Should I volunteer with some non-profits? Could I do enough with selling handmade things to do us any good? Should I be considering a part-time job? (*shudder*) All so confusing.

So I'm praying now that my path would be clear. I'm not sure it ever has been in the past, but maybe it will be this time. heh.

Thanks

Your prayers are so appreciated. Hubby started a contract job again Tuesday (it was a big day of firsts!). We have insurance, and he's paid well. We are so well taken care of, God is SO good.

If you'd like, we'd love if you'd continue to pray. There's nothing guaranteed about contract work. He would love to find a permanent position sometime soon. He has resumes out there. So do a lot of people!

Again, just, thanks. We feel blessed.

Their first day back (and C's very first day!).

I wonder what you're doing right now,

And if everyone is treating you kind.

I hope there is a special person,

A nice friend that you can find.

I wonder if the teacher knows

Just how special you are to me.

And if the brightness of your heart

Is something she can see.

I wonder if you are thinking about me,

And if you need a hug.

I already miss the sound of your voice

And how you give my leg a tug.

 I wonder if you could possibly understand

How hard it is to let you grow.

On this day know that my heart breaks,

For this is the first step in letting my baby go.

~My apologies for not knowing the author of the poem. I'd credit them if I knew.

My heartfelt thanks goes out to the author for expressing exactly how I feel about my baby's first day of school (and, truly, about all three of their first days back. I can't believe summer is gone already!).

I can't believe they've grown so. Slow down, time!