I'll start this week in a kind of roundabout way. I've been following a couple "mommy blogs" lately. These women are wonderfully secure in their convictions about God's plan in their lives, and I find myself learning things about more than just the art of staying at home.
"One of the common stereotypes of biblical womanhood is that she is enslaved at home, receiving orders barked from her husband who is 'in charge'.
Contrary to that idea, a woman in a biblical marriage is the “queen” or manager of her home. She is actually the one “in charge” of the numerous duties of keeping a home and her husband is free to be the man God created him to be because “the heart of her husband safely trusts her”. The two are on the same page–same vision–same goals. He doesn’t have to micro-manage her time because he knows she is capable, smart and eager to fulfill their mission.
One of the feminist lies is that a woman can only be truly free in a career outside her home. But the irony is that she still submits to someone (usually another man). What’s worse is that the man whom she must obey doesn’t love her, doesn’t have her best interests at heart and doesn’t feel any motivation to protect her." (By Kelly at Raising Homemakers)
Today Kelly over at Raising Homemakers made the best point I've seen so far. She points out that if a woman has a career outside of the home, she will still probably be submitting to SOMEONE, most likely a man. However, unlike her husband, this person (woman or man) will not have her and her family's best interests in mind. The manager or CEO or boss the woman works for will be looking out for the best interests of the company they work for.
In the home, on the other hand, a woman can commit all her energies to caring for her family and guiding the children given to her by God. The man she is called to submit to is likewise called to give his entire life for her, to care for her more than for himself, to die for her. Very UNlike a boss/manager. That and the company she works for will be giving orders, expecting to be obeyed. In a biblical marriage, the man and woman decide on goals together, and the woman shows herself trustworthy enough to manage the 'home side' of things. There are no orders, only decisions made together, as a team. That, plus the fact that a woman can find ways to contribute to the family from in the home.
Of course, I understand that there are women who HAVE to work, especially in this economic climate. And that's another thing I like about these blogs, they are quick to assure their readers that they know that in an imperfect world, staying at home is not possible for every mother.
Blessedly, my husband makes enough and we've wrangled our budget to a point where I can, in fact, stay home. Of course, another aspect of this is the fact that we have enough children that if I had to work during the summer they'd be in daycare, which would just be silly, as I would be working simply to make enough to keep them in daycare.
All of that to lead me into the first post on this week's challenge topic. This week's challenge is to lay out the responsibilities I've taken on in my SAHM role. Then, to go over them with my husband and determine which are most important to my husband, the care of our home, and myself. The example the blogger posing the challenge gave was when she threw herself head first into coupon clipping and deal finding, driving from store to store finding deals to save them money, newborn and toddler in tow. She was surprised to find out that to her husband, the money saved wasn't his priority. To him, the priority was the knowledge that she and the children were safe, and not running herself ragged running all over town. Importantly, he never told her not to clip coupons, and he appreciated the money saved, but it was not as high on his priority list as her sanity and safety were. To this end, things AT HOME, such as organization, were higher priority to him.
So now I will be making a list of the things I take care of at home, and this week my hubby and I will discuss the responsibilities I've taken on to run our home. We'll assign priorities so I can know the things that are most important to us as a family, and ensure that these are the things that get done first and foremost.
In no particular order...
- CLEANING: laundry, vacuum, dishes, make beds, lawn care
- BUDGET: bills, coupons, groceries
- TIME MANAGEMENT: appointments, calendar, babysitting, activities for kids
- MEALS: planning, making home-cooked meals, packing his lunch
- ALONE TIMES: Devotional/recharge times (carving out time for my own and his)
Oh, and P.S., I was right. Hubby got a major kick out of reading last week's post. I'm so glad to have him home, and so glad he got to go on the trip. He had some definite confirmations that he was right where he belonged that week. And our week at home did go very well, as much as I did miss him. We had plenty to occupy our time and I hope he gained some additional confidence that we can be okay without him so he can go on these trips.
4 comments:
I was a stay-at-home mom for about 17 years (although the job I have now is an at-home job), and the question I always loved was, "do you work?" Theyr'e question was really do you work outside the home. The ironic thing to me was always that people revere teachers and childcare workers, who raise our children, but not so much the mothers who raise their own children. It's a nearly-lost art and we are worse off for it. So, good job! :)
*Their*
I get that question too. I have been working mentally on being proud of what I do and not hemming and hawing when I answer something along the lines of, "yes, I take care of my three daughters."
I get all stuck on having to defend myself, instead of just being proud of what I do. I'm working on that.
You should be proud. It really is the most important job in the world! You're raising your children to love Jesus and be the next generation to carry on His Name! What could more important than that? :)
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